The Osterman Weekend

The Osterman Weekend is the greatest and funniest film festival in all of existence. The second annual Osterman Weekedend aka. OW is being held somewhere in early 2009 in Turku. The lineup so far for this year's extravaganza includes such films as:

Youngblood (1986) starring Patrick Swayze and Rob Lowe, supported by Keanu Reeves and "that guy" Ed Lauter as the coach



Split Second (1992) starring the bat shit insane Rutger Hauer, Kim Catrall as the almost-sex-interest and a terrifying monster




Anaconda (1997) starring the incomprabable Jon Voight alongside "the gangsta" Ice Cube and "the sexy" J-Lo and including amazing performances by Danny Trejo and Owen Wilson in a great cast of that guys (who get eaten by the snake)



Jaws 3-D (1983) starring Bruce the Shark and Randy Quaid plus featuring a hot young version of Lea Thompson and the scene stealing mustache of Simon MacCorkingdale as Philip FitzRoyce's mustache. Everybody excerices futility by screaming in slo mo.



Ishtar (1987) starring the musical geniouses Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty plus the scene stealing blind camel whilst not forgetting a great "that guy" performance from evil Charles Grodin



The Osterman Weekend (1983) with an all-star cast of bat shit insanes Rutger Hauer, John Hurt and Dennis Hopper and the steadying force of the stunned Mr. Incredible himself, Craig T. Nelson, as the mustache-clad Bernard Osterman



Last years lineup also included the so bad it's good but not great The Karate Kid: Part III with amazing perfomances by Noriaki "Pat" Morita, the overweight Ralph Macchio as his boyfriend and excellent nemesi (as in more than one nemesis) Thomas Ian Griffith and Martin Kove.

Other films already considered for OW 2009 but ultimately dismissed include:
Zardoz (1974)
The Wicker Man (2006)
Teen Wolf (1985)
Rambo III (1988)
Over The Top (1987)
The Karate Kid: Part II (1986)
Jaws: The Revenge (1987)
Hercules in New York (1970)
Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1987)
The Marine (2006)
Masters of The Univers (1987)
and many, many more

But there is still room for at least one more film in the regular annual lineup of The prestigious OW and the amount of candidates for this final spot is staggering. Some of the hopefuls include:
Flash Gordon (1980)
Street Fighter (1994)
Kazaam (1996)
Robocop 3 (1993)
Double Impact (1991)
Airport '77 (1977)
Sudden Death (1995)
Celtic Pride (1996)
Waterworld (1995)
Kindergarten Cop (1990)
Going Overboard (1989)
plus The Toxic Avenger and sequels and The Police Academy movies.

The actors, who we are most interested about are, in no particular order:
Rutger Hauer, Nicholas Cage, Dennis Hopper, Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jon Voight, Val Kilmer, Tom Cruise, Willem Dafoe and naturally Steven Seagal. Basically every male lead of the 80's not named Tom Hanks is a viable subject. Casper van Dien is okay too. Gary Busey rules!

It's also a huge plus if the movie features a hot 80s female actor for example someone like Elisabeth Shue from such hits as Cocktail, The Karate Kid and Back To The Future Parts 2 and 3.

The invitations to OW 2009 will be sent somewhere between now and early January and the final lineup might not be finalized until the very last moment. Stay tuned!

SEXY UPDATE: A couple of the movies from the to be watched list have been checked out and two of them have been sent to the prestigious Crossbow d'Osterman jury. These movies are the award hopefuls:

Bad Boys 2 (2003) and
Superman III (1983)

And although nobody "put Baby in the Corner", the lovely Dirty Dancing with Patrick Swayze was dismissed as "too good" according to inside sources at the Osterman Mansion.